It is not my father’s world
The world has changed drastically
since I was a kid. My father, a chemical
engineer worked 3 jobs to put food on our table and clothing on our
bodies. Coming from a family of six
children, and being 5th in line I had to eat quickly in order to get
a chance at a second helping. Amy, now
you understand why I eat so fast; SURVIVAL!
During my early childhood, I
spent tons of time with my mom, playing backgammon, watching baseball, cooking,
just doing all kinds of things together.
I didn’t get to spend a much time with my father. He was always busy earning a living to
support our family. He worked a full-time
job during the day, after dinner he went to work at a brickyard. Some mornings would even drop off newspaper
bundles to delivery people. The song
“Cat’s in the cradle” by Harry Chapin rang very true regarding my relationship
with my Dad.
And the cat's in the
cradle and the silver spoon little boy blue
and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?"
"I don't know when
but, we'll get together then, son,
you know we'll have a
good time then"
This song reminds me that there are choices in life that we
make, and if we don’t think about the consequences of these choices, we might
end up regretting how we live our few short years on this planet. It’s all about time.
A summer after my freshmen year in college, I was given the
opportunity to grow closer to my father.
I was offered a job at his company.
He would wake me up with a cup of tea and we’d play cribbage while we
ate breakfast. We would ride to work
together, and share lunch playing pool.
Recently, I have begun playing pool at lunch again, often thinking of
Dad. Back then was a summer that I hold dear. I was able to develop a closer relationship
with Dad.
I watched as he walked the halls at work, greeting each person
with a smile and a first name. Such a
simple gesture; yet so powerful! Knowing people’s names is important! It establishes a feeling of worth, of
belonging. As a Cub Scout leader I
worked very hard at knowing each scout’s name so that they knew I cared about
them. This simple act brought each scout
closer to the group and gave them a sense of purpose; acknowledgement and
belonging.
Knowing someone’s name is the
first step in developing relationships. Do
you know everyone sitting in your pew? Take
a minute now to greet those around you, finding out names if you don’t know
them.
After college, I made sure that I
kept in touch with Mom and Dad, calling on a regular basis, and going in for
occasional visits. After my mom passed
away, I frequently went in to see Dad and spend more time with him, giving my
sister Hilary, his primary caregiver a breather. We watched so many movies together, talking
about the plots and enjoying a diet coke! I had broken the cats in the cradle
syndrome!!!
Growing up, my family attended
church every week. We were good church
goers. As soon as the service was over
though, we were gone. I wasn’t aware of
any relationships being created or nurtured in that place. It felt like homogenized worship, no feelings
allowed. I attended Sunday School; I read the bible;
but I really didn’t understand or know God.
There wasn’t any relationship there, but this was the way of my father’s
world.
I visited a Methodist Church for
the first time in 1981, visiting Amy’s home church. Wow, it felt warm, inviting, like a huge blended
family. I was astounded at the
difference with the church that I grew up in!
People stayed after church to talk and get to know each other better,
have coffee and pastries. What a great
place to be. Unfortunately, this wasn’t
part of my father’s church world.
Amy and I were married in July
1983 and moved into Fairport in 1985.
After getting settled in, we began looking for a church, visiting
FUMC. We received a welcome phone call
the next week from Lori Lorraine. She
spent over an hour talking to me about “her church” and getting to know all about
us. Since then, our families have
ultimately intertwined into one. Their
daughters are ours, and our sons are theirs, a wonderfully amazing
friendship.
My family has benefitted from the wonderful Youth Group here
at FUMC, shepherded by Pam and Mark Renfro. We spent a great deal of time on
bike trips, Sacandaga adventures, Reach workcamp , 30 hour famine sleepovers and
numerous youth group meetings. As I
look at our group of friends that we spend time with outside of these walls, I
find that they are the same people that we have developed relationships with inside these walls!
Reflecting back, I’m overjoyed that Amy and I were committed
to being active parts of our son’s lives. Because of that, Cat’s in the cradle
does not hold the same meaning for our kids as it did me.
In the Genesis reading, that Rick
read, God appointed us to be stewards of our environment and the creatures that
inhabit the land, the sky and seas, this includes all of God’s children. We are not meant to be solitary individuals,
we are meant to be families and communities. This requires investment of time
and energy.
Technology has made the world
smaller, even though the population has more than doubled since 1960. Facebook has allowed friendships to be
sustained and others to end abruptly.
The use of technology is an enabler, but what does it enable? Amy and I operate our IPADS in the same room,
and I will sometimes text her just to see if she is still awake J Instant information from around the globe has
miniaturized the feeling of the planet, bringing Kamina, China and the city of
Rochester much closer to us! However, we
must not allow Facebook, twitter or texting, our online relationships to
overshadow the importance of physical real world relationships.
Do you ever think about the
relationships you create and nurture as a stewardship opportunity? I can work on that next week… This attitude
reminds me of another song, a Beatles song:
If you want it, here it is Come
and get it, but you better hurry 'cause it's going fast. Stopping to smell the roses, and invest some
time in relationships often allows the hectic pace of life to slow a
little. By participating in outreach and
other ministries here at church as an individual and as a family, allows us to
do God’s will, while at the same time developing friendships and better relationships.
We are given time, talents and
treasures by God. Of the three, Time is
the only one that once gone, cannot be renewed, cannot be recaptured. It is the most precious of our gifts. Two weeks ago, David Durham spoke about the rich
man that wanted to know what he had to do to have eternal life, Jesus said,
sell everything, give to the poor and follow me. Was it the wealth that he didn’t want to
leave, or was it the commitment of time that was too much? God wants the same from us that we want from
our parents and our children, an investment of our time.
The opportunities are here, but are you stuck living “Cat’s in
the cradle”, still not realizing the impacts of your choices? What are you missing by not trying?
With all of the technological
advances, we still have issues here on mother earth. We find that this tiny
complex world we live in, that if it was condensed down to a village of 100,
you would find the village comprised of:
·
50 would be male, 50 would
be female.
·
61 Asians, 13 Africans, 12
Europeans, 9 Latin Americans and 5 from the USA and Canada.
·
33 Christian, 67
non-Christian,
·
16 would not be able to read or write
·
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
·
33 would not have access to safe water supply
·
8 people would have access
to the internet
So, if technology alone cannot resolve
the world’s problems, what can?
Relationships, tolerance and being open to challenging the status quo! Having a positive attitude that we can make a
difference is infectious to others around us.
Mother Teresa once said “If you can’t feed 100 people, feed just one.”
Participating in outreach here, even a little, can start an avalanche of
wonderful experiences for you, what are you waiting for?
If we are to be the body of
Christ in this community of faith, in this country and in this world, all parts
must learn to work together. We need
active participation! We need to grow
healthy, loving, nurturing relationships so that when the path becomes
difficult, we have a support network that sustains us. It is marvelous to see how we help each other
here, with meals, transportation and most wonderfully, our time. We are called to be God’s presence on this
rock called earth. This is not my
father’s world, but to make this our Creator’s world we must be willing to step
forward out of our comfort zones and stop the cycle of Cat’s in the cradle.
-Andy Lotze, June 16, 2013
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